It's not a surprise

Hello friends and family...I am writing tonight with a heavy but uplifted heart. As many of you know by now my Little Man has scarlet fever...same virus as the strep virus...but he is a little sick. He is still his happy go lucky self, playing ball and running around...but he looks sick.

When he woke up Tues morning...is head was a bit red (which I thought may have been a slight sunburn from the weekend or an allergic reaction to something) but he did not have fever so I took him to my mother's day out group. That whole day his face seemed to continue to swell and redden and I gave him benadryl. When he woke up Wed morning his face was really swollen and his eyes were swollen...and as I changed his diaper I noticed the rash all over his tummy. So we headed to the doctor.

When the doctor came in I showed her the rash and explained the other symptoms...and she said the rash was a classic strep virus rash. When she looked at his throat, it was fine...but she did the test anyway and while she was doing the test she said that he may have scarlet fever. My response...after the shock...was to ask if people still even get that.

So...she explained to me that it probably started with strep throat but that it was not treated. HELLO...what is she saying...that I did not take care of my kid? So as she was talking...I became a little defensive and that turned to guilt and disappointment in myself. What kind of mother would not realize that their baby was sick? Why didn't I see the symptoms before it lead to something a little worse?

Now, I know what you are thinking...it is not my fault...kids just get sick. The frustrating part is that I tried to think back when Little Man was sick...but I can't really remember any time. He never quit eating or drinking and he never ran a temperature. Now when the girls had strep they had high fevers and the would not eat or drink because their throat hurt so bad. But Little Man did not show any odd signs. So maybe he has a higher pain tolerance? Who knows.

Anyway...he is on antibiotics now and the girls have been so great. Helping mommy, reading to Little Man, and Sweet girl helped me with the laundry today. Of course, last night at bed time both girls complained about a sore throat and headache...I will wait a day or so before I jump to conclusions.

When I found out that I was going to miss my mom's group because my son was still contagious I was a bit sad. I even mentioned it to daddy to see if he might be willing to take off work to stay home so I could go play. Just kidding...I know my kids are more important. When I was talking on the phone and explaining our situation...Big Girl over heard me. So when I got off the phone she came over to sit with me...and she said 'Mommy, you can keep me home from school and I will watch Little Man while you go have fun with your mom friends'. How sweet is that...impossible...but sweet. I thanked her and explained what those friends mean to me. That really made mommy feel better.

Then today, while I was missing my moms group and looking at a sick baby...Sweet Girl ran up to me and said "I love you mommy"...of course it was followed by "Can I have some chocolate milk"...but it still made me feel good.

So through my doubt and frustrations, guilt and anxiety, and feeling inadequate about being a mom...I realized that I am right where I am supposed to be. It was not an accident that I had 3 kids...God planned that...and it was not a surprise to him that my Little Man would get this illness. One of my mom friends (you know who you are) told me on the phone on Wed...'This did not surprise God'...Thanks for those words. He knew this was coming and he knew how I would feel. So he sent a few people...including my precious kids...to have those words that just helped me out. Lifted my spirits and helped me realize...I do what I can. No, I may not be super mom (remember those are the moms that have nannies), but with Gods help I do what I need to do.

Of course I love my kids and do anything and everything to take care of them...I guess it was just planned this way. Maybe I needed to be reminded that God is in control...even when my babies get sick, maybe I was supposed to stay home for several days and just love and hold them, and maybe I needed to hear those uplifting words. Remember...things are not a surprise to God!