Let Me Explain

Alright...I guess I need a shirt that says..."I DO NOT SLEEP MUCH!" So that when I seem a bit cranky, or I have dark spots under my eyes people do not think I am sick. Most of you that know me realize that I do not sleep much and I can not tell you how many times I get comments like 'Only 5 hours of sleep?'; 'How do you function?'; 'Aren't you sleepy?'; or simply 'WHY?' I guess that one is my favorite. So I thought I might explain why I am up so late.

As you should all know I do have 3 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 1 really big kid (sometimes called husband). So I am not even going to explain all the cleaning, picking up, cooking, traveling, and simply taking care of my family that I do every day. I am not going to get into because most of you do the same. And trust me...I am not complaining...I really do love my situation that allows me to stay home and be that type of person and mom. I have a blast.

Next, many of you know that I am also involved at church and with a mom's group here in town and I love being part of that as well...so again...NOT COMPLAINING. Please do not think this is a pity party for 'poor me that never sleeps'. It is not...simply an explanation.

Third, I am also very involved in Big girls school...as a parent and volunteer, and often in charge of activities that take place at the school. Again, I am thankful that God gave me a job that allows me to be part of that. I only wish I could do more but Little man is a handful.

Ok, lastly...which most of you know...I also teach online. The job allows me to stay home, helps with our finances, and (probably my favorite) allows me to stay somewhat connected to the scientific field. So I love it. I have been teaching for some time, and I would not trade my experiences and my opportunities. However...this brings me to my explanation. I have to tell you a story first so that you can get the picture. So humor me and read along:

When I first started teaching I was in my 9th month with Sweet Girl...so as soon as she was born I was teaching about 6 classes. I would work whenever...Big girl was always so good at just playing by my feet and Sweet girl would sleep in her swing. I would work at nap-time and during the day. I just didn't think anything of it...I wanted to get my work done and not be up really late. I do remember times having to tell Big girl when she asked me to play with her that I could not because I was working on the computer. Now, I am not saying that I do not do that now every once in a while...I mean I have 3 now and a huge backyard...so I can sit on a Saturday morning and catch up although I prefer not to.

Ok...sorry...back to the story. So one day when Big girl was playing in her room because I was working on the computer I walked back to check on her. Well, I was sneaking back to check on her which I often did because she was so funny when she was playing with Barbies. So as I am listening at the door she has 2 Barbies that are 'talking'. The first one says 'Mommy will you play with me?' and the second one said 'I can't, mommy is working on the computer'. Well...it just broke my heart. She was not that old...but old enough to realize that she wanted mommy to play but mommy was on the computer. So I just told myself that day that I would do everything possible NOT to work when my kids were awake or not occupied with friends or daddy.

So...that brings me to my explanation...the reason I stay up late...the reason that I did not get on the computer tonight until 9pm...I really try not to 'work' while the kids are awake. So some nights I can get off the computer around 11pm...and other nights it is closer to midnight or later. Now...can you imaging being at work for 8 hours...not having to drive home...but just jumping in bed and trying to go to sleep? Well...you may be able to do that, but it is impossible for me...so I read. Yes, my hubby often tells me at 2am to put the book down and turn out the light. My problem is that I LOVE to read and it is really the only 'free' time I have to read. So there are times that I can not put the book down. I know...you are probably asking those same questions...why, how can I function...blah blah. I guess I just do what I can.

Does it catch up to me? Sometimes...and those nights I usually go to bed around midnight. So why am I blogging at 10pm...well...if I was not writing on the blog I would be journaling...it is an outlet for me. Plus, I love to share my life with family and friends.

So...I guess I can end with telling you that lack of sleep does not always bother me...I am used to it although I know it is not good for my body. I know that several of you are concerned...but instead of worrying...just say a prayer that my body will stay strong. I do what I can and I don't mind sacrificing sleep so that my kids get some of my attention. And...if I am ever a bit cranky...or you feel like I am upset...just remember that the night before it was very likely I only got about 4-5 hours of sleep!